|...or, "I Won the 2012 OC Throwdown and All I Got Was the Swagger of a Champion"|
...or, "The Tweets I Would Have Twatted if I Actually Used My Twitter Account".
This past weekend was the OC Throwdown. Long story short, I killed it. Long story long, a lot of other bullshit happened. So here's my recap of the OC Throwdown organized into 140 character tweets (I had to google the character limit of tweets...I'm quite tech savvy), hashtags, and all the other crap that makes Twitter popular. Let's begin.
Justin Flynn judges his own star athlete #ItsMyPartyAndIllJudgeIfIWantTo
Before the event, there were rumblings among the athletes about Kenny Leverich and Justin Flynn and whether Justin Flynn could stay neutral when creating a competition that his own star athlete would be a part of. I'm happy to report to you that neutrality wasn't ever even considered as an option.
It was obvious from the first scheduled WOD, where Justin (and a handful of other people supporting KL) just happened to be standing right next to Kenny while he was working out. No other athlete was allowed to have his coach on the floor with them, yelling at them, counting for them, or giving them tips and tricks to succeed in the middle of the WOD. On top of that, no other athlete's coach also happened to be the guy who wrote the workouts, brought on the judges, and organized the whole event. The previous two sentences are clearly not related at all.
Box jump = CrossFit Total? Yea, just like The Phantom Menace = Empire Strikes Back.
So the events were kept a secret until right before they started, which is fine in a fraternity/secret society/"we're so cool" way. On the first day, rumors were all over the place about what the events would be (and they were pretty damn accurate, so I guess there were some leaks). That's besides the point. The point is: the max height box jump was weighted as its own event, technically making it equivalent to the entire CrossFit Total and other real workouts.
Anyone can tell you that this is a horrible, terrible, egregious error equivalent to calling Transformers 3 "the greatest movie of all time". That's pretty much all I can say about this. Maybe they were trying to make all the lifts separate and just failed. Or maybe they just fucked up. Whatever.
I heard someone showed up to talk shit, but I didn't even notice him behind the 47" box in front of me. #2Short
Sure, Napoleon complexes suck, but being rude is even worse. When someone happily greets you and waves hello, a staredown is not the appropriate response.
|Showing up and heckling is definitely classy.|
WODs are being changed around at the last second. #UnknownAndUnknowable even for the organizers.
It's like they're putting themselves through a CrossFit Competition Organizing WOD while running the event.
I know I've talked shit about them in the past, but holy crap Firebreather BBQ is delicious. #YouMadeMeABeliever
I'm not above admitting when I'm wrong, so here I go: Seriously, Firebreather BBQ was great. It wasn't overly sweet, like a lot of BBQ tends to be. It was savory, a little spicy, and was the perfect fuel for a weekend of competition.
Meenut Butter is amazing #ThatIsAll
Meenut Butter is amazing. And it's got the power of four nuts, which is double the amount I usually have.
Scoring hasn't been updated at all. I guess they're still trying to figure out what the scores
This whole scoring fiasco is kind of out of control. We've been waiting for 2 hours to know who made the cuts, but at least Fitness Lonnie has been doing a pretty decent job holding burpee and pull up competitions against kids from the crowd. I'd usually shit all over this, but seriously, he was dealt a horrible hand and did his best with it. I hope at least some of the money that didn't go to making the event run smoothly goes into that guy's pocket...I think he needs a smaller shirt.
"Kale salads and sweaty hugs; that's what it's all about" #Overheard
I actually kind of agree with this. Behind all the lululemon, the underqualified trainers, the overpriced certs, and the general overzealousness of most of CrossFit's population is our need for sulfuric leafy greens and human connection. That could be a powerful sentiment if it wasn't such a damn funny sentence.
The peeps in the athlete's room are awesome!
Big shout out to Jeff and Carolyn at SMR, Paul at Health Quest, Dustin Glass, and Erika Figge for keeping me awesome.
"It reminds me of a gay nightclub" #Overheard
Sweaty shirtless dudes, booming dance music, and flashy strobe lights everywhere? Naw, I don't see any connection here.
Ronnie T loves two things: his haters and his jorts.
In most of the later events, Ronnie wore a t-shirt that said "I <3 my haters". Which means one of two things: either 1) he re-used the same sweaty, grody shirt for 2 days, or 2) he's got a collection of "I <3 my haters" shirts. Sweetness.
Let's blame WODTime for fucking everything up. #YouStayClassyOCThrowdown
|Let's play the blame game!|
Just to put this in perspective, according to the WODTime guys, they were doing their best to support an ever changing, unreasonable, and nearly ridiculous list of demands supplied by someone who didn't understand their own limitations. According to Justin, WODTime fucked everything up. So who do we believe? WODTime ran a handful of pretty sweet events without any hiccups in the months preceding the throwdown and Justin did this two days before the OC Throwdown started: