They Blend In...
Whether they're at the gym or at Whole Foods, a true Firebreather blends in. Sure, there are exceptions (see Jason Khalipa), but most Firebreathers are actually kind of boring. I mean, I love Graham, but the guy isn't exactly exciting. He's a badass, he's crazy fit, and he's just a normal, everyday guy. Look at it this way: people walk by Graham every day of his life and never wonder if he's a professional athlete. When's the last time you stood next to a tall, huge black guy and didn't try to figure out which NFL team he's on?
...Unless They're Lady Firebreathers...
Then it's kind of obvious. Lady Firebreathers are mostly really jacked and quite obviously in crazy good shape. You see them and you know they can easily pick you up and they can definitely do more pull ups than you can. When you see a chick and think to yourself "damn, I wish I had shoulders like those", you're either looking at a "woman" who's got more testosterone than you (and that's a really obvious one [Editor's note: I want you to realize that this chick is white and yet has dyed her body black. Bodybuilding is definitely healthy and wonderful.]) or you're looking at a badass Lady Firebreather who's merely stronger, faster, and in better shape than you.
...Or They're Assholes.
So Firebreathers can be either boring, female, or assholes. The third category is full of dudes like Ronnie Teasdale, who has definitely softened up and stopped being as crazy as he's been over the past couple years, and of course Jarett "JP" "Ninja" Perelmutter. JP's is a special breed of...something. He's a fan of both the weight vest and the gasmask at the same time. He crushed the Open this past year (placed 10th in the world) and then was absolutely embarrassed at the Regionals for some reason (My guess is real judges from outside his gym, but what do I know? No one in CrossFit would ever cheat, right?).
|I was going to make a joke about this, but holy shit, weight vests for dogs are actually real.|
I don't usually do this, but shout out to Drywall for taking some time away from trying to sell people bullshit products and writing something that scratches the surface of meaningful. Thanks, buddy.