It's Halloween weekend and you need something to wear so you can impress your friends with your new ripped body. But what's it gonna be? Well, since all your friends are CrossFitters anyway, why not take it to the next level and dress up as a well known CrossFit peep? Here are my suggestions:
Rich Froning, Jr.
You've got a few options here. You can be 2010 Rich Froning: black shirt sleeve head band, black choker necklace, dark sunglasses, white board shorts, and a silver medal. If you're gonna pull this off, you've gotta be cool and in control until someone asks you about rope climbs for the fifth or sixth time. Then you can flip out on them.
I guess you could be 2011 Rich Froning too, but that would have probably required you to be on copious amounts of steroids for the past few months so you could be jacked enough.
The power play here would be dressing up as an older guy and telling people you're Rich Froning, Sr. That is a very obscure power play, but the handful of people that get it will definitely enjoy it.
This one is a tough one because it's more about the way you act then it is about how you dress. It'll help if you're part bear and have hairy arms, but here's the kicker: the stumble rest. Khalipa is the master of the stumble rest and any true CrossFit geek will immediately recognize it as a pure Khalipa move. Stumble rest a kegstand or a beer bong, or if you're feeling like a real badass, stumble rest on the dance floor. Just remember that it's important that you only pull this off when you're surrounded by the truest CrossFit homies because otherwise you'll look like an idiot.
Easy peasy: grab a pillow and stuff it under your shirt so you've got a gut on ya, adopt a limp, and carry a beer everywhere you go. The trump card here is making sure you've got the right catch phrases. Here are a couple suggestions:
- "Someone who eats Zone but doesn't work out will have the same physiological adaptations as someone who works out but doesn't eat well."
- "You're the drunkest person on Earth."
- "You don't need any special shoes to do anything, just do it all barefoot."
The Naked CrossFitter
Grab a shoebox and paint it black. Cut in some leg holes. Wear it like underwear so it censors your junk. Now take your awesomeness to eleven and you're almost there.
Next time: The Naked CrossFitter Evaluates Your Programming: Mainsite Edition